Frustration and Choices

I have dear friends.  Friends who sat with me at one of my lowest points.  Friends who point me (sometimes forcefully) back to truth.

The moment of truth came.  The dress was in.  The dress came on.  The dress didn't snap shut.  Whoops.  I can say that now.  Friday night and most of Saturday, I was downhearted (PMS on top of it too).

Today, I am choosing to make good food choices.  Today, I am choosing to ride my bike to youth group tonight instead driving my car.  Today, I am going to remember that I wore jeans on Friday that I haven't worn in over a year.  They sat in my drawer waiting for the day they would button again and not be as tight.  Today, I am going to remember that there are amazing people who can alter dresses and hopefully, I will find someone who can help me out.  Today, I am going to remember that I can run two miles again consecutively. Today, I am going to remember that it's just a dress and it doesn't define me.  Today, I am going to remember that I am a child of God and He loves me with an everlasting love.

I cannot go back to obsessing over something I can't change.  I can be healthy and I can work out without obsessing.  I can choose to look at the changes that have occurred in my body and be proud of where I am.  I can go forward.  I cannot and will not and choose not to live in the past.

I am defined by One who loves me dearly.  A dress doesn't define me.

Where am I?

Hanging out on my couch.  Waiting for the end of the year.  Not really.  Knowing I have many things to do.  A skit to learn.  Classroom reading assessments finalized.  Awards written.  A DVD to make.  Wrap up the year.  Throw a bridal shower for my sister.

Oh, and I get to try on my dress Friday night.  I am making myself not snack due to stress right now.

Check that off!

Be the Easter Bunny?  Check.  I can now cross off dressing up as a mascot off my list.  (However, I don't think I ever had it on my list!)

My mom was in a pinch and needed someone to dress up for their Easter Egg hunt that their company puts on.  Who does she ask?  Me!!!  Since it's the beginning of our Spring Break, many people I'm sure left on vacation and I was able step in.

What's it like being in a costume?  Claustrophobic to begin with.  Hot.  Sweaty.  The headband kept dropping into my eyes and it was hard to navigate it back up.  The overall worst part (and you would have to know me for this), I couldn't talk!!!  Argh!  An hour and a half of silence!  Makes me wonder how the Disney characters do it day in and day out.  

Nevertheless, the smiles on the kids' faces, the hugs, and grabbings of my legs made it all worthwhile.  It was fun to pass out high fives, give candy, and try to be overly dramatic with my movements.  

After...see how my hair was affected by the head piece?

Sure, there were the kids that screamed as soon as they saw me.  But there were others that kept coming back for more hugs and photo opportunities.  Pricessl

Disappointment

I have a treasure chest where I buy trinkets for the clas as rewards. Unfortunately, it is now put away. A student chose this squishy duck as his prize for having a reward ticket drawn this morning. The duck disappeared during lunch. Looking back, I should have just cleaned out desks myself. Hindsight is always 20-20. While I asked the kids to look for it, another teacher called and as I turned my back, it "magically" appeared on the floor under many desks. I had been watching that area to see who might have found it. Argh!!! Turning my back cost me a lot of grief. I gave the culprit ample time to fess up. Heads down...no peeking chance. Confess on a piece of paper chance. Talk to the principal chance. Talk to our second grade para chance. I took our fun activities away. Gave the guilt trip talk of how they will remember this lie for the rest of their life. Nothing!!! And yes, readers, I cried. My heart broke for a child in my room who has to lie and lie and lie and doesn't get it. Then my girls began to cry. It was a bad day. We went to gym. Went to recess. Came in...and wouldn't you know? Another person's prize from the chest came up missing. I guess they didn't learn their lesson... Any advice?

Here I am Again...

This evening, our elementary is performing an evening performance of our musical show.  While I have already seen it (afternoon matinee), I am staying again...much to my delight.  :)  There are positives and negatives. 

Negatives...I'm at school for almost thirteen hours.  It was dark when I came and dark when I go home.  I am surrounded by work to do. 

Positives...Pandora at loud levels (since no one is around).  I can accomplish tasks around the room I have wanted to do for a while...like organize more. 

Just what I wanted to do right before break.

Here are some before and after shots.  I cleaned, dumped, packed away, hid, rearranged, and threw away quite a few items.

Before...I had just moved a bookcase so we had the seating on the left.

Before (notice all of the stuff on the counter top)

Again, stuff on the counter

Before...we use this organizer for math stations and holding different writing utensils.

After...

After...

After...

After...there's less stuff!!!



It's a start...I still have work to do, but it's a start!  What do you think?

Intimidation

As my students were getting started in reading workshop, the door opened.  Who should walk in, but our two coaches (reading and writing) for our district.

They walk.  Slowly.  They stand together.  They meander.  They talk.  Softly.

At first, I think, "Wow, they chose my classroom to observe a fabulous workshop."  Hey, at least I'm honest...

And then I realize why they are in my room.

Humble pie.

I had come to our writing coach and asked for some help in "organizing" my classroom.

This was my evaluation year and after going over the form with my principal, I asked what I could do to improve.  She had already shared what she thought my strengths were, but like all great teachers know, we always give a student a teaching point.  I asked for mine. I received.  My classroom is...overwhelming.

The coaches were looking to see what is overwhelming about my room.  I value their opinions.  I wouldn't ask for help if I didn't want it.  However, I have to admit.  It was a little intimidating to watch them walk, meander, and talk around my room...

I'm sure pictures will be posted as I change and make my room less "overwhelming".

Ode to Medicine

No medicine today.

Can't catch me.

Spinning,

Breaking pencils,

Tattling,

Jean holes created.

Defiant, destructive, argumentative.

Flippant comments

Out of control

Exhausted am I.

Thankfully, my strength comes from something greater and I can cling and will cling to this truth...

Psalm 73: 25-26

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
   And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
   but God is the strength of my heart
   and my portion forever.

However, I will now ask daily if the medicine has been taken...